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Distraction Devine by ~Without-A-Face:iconWithout-A-Face:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Narrative > Free & Blank Verse




I stare in the mirror
And loath the tears
The issues of self
And indulgent fears
They bear down on me
The weight of the world
My life is so bleak
And my heart has turned cold.

The lines of love
Are broken and blurred
I yearn for release
I’ll never be heard.
Demands and orders
They plague the depth
Of a mind filled with hate
And a soul without breath

Ensnared and encircled
Deprived and alone
The body searches
For sanctuary to own
But hidden in darkness
Engulfed in my cloud
Tear soaked eyes
Find you in the crowd

The darkness is light
My heart sees your pain
My hand reaches out
And I feel my eyes drain
My blood warms to you
And I can’t refrain  
Your smile is my goal
Let me heal your bane

Together we’ll shed
Free of this snare.
My tears of dread
With you I share
Ashes and embers
The thoughts of my life
Recede to your hurt
Like flesh to a knife

I want you to feel
Safe and secure
I want you to feel
That your pain is no more
And looking back
I see my path
My recurring problems
They never do last.
©2005-2010 ~Without-A-Face
:iconwithout-a-face:

Author's Comments

This is a poem which has taken a while to do and I’m still not sure if its completely finished but I’m beginning to really over work it to the extent that I feel the point and passion behind it are become obsolete in the pursuit of lyrical perfection. So I realise it may not seem right but try to hear the meaning and feelings behind it.

Basically it all about focusing on others. All to often I let my own problems and “issues” (which have been held against me more then once) get on top of me. This is nothing new. It happens all the time and its at these times when I really start to feel down. However I find the best way to get over them is to help other people. It really gets to me when people either complain about their own problems and not see the hurt around them or when people complain about my problems and don’t even think to help.

So this poem is a way of expressing how I feel that helping others is the best way to help yourself and forget the ever present problems. If I can distract myself with good then I don’t focus on the bad. Not to say that I force myself into peoples lives and demand I help or that I am “so good because I am selfless”. I know I’m selfish at times but I wish I wasn’t. And I don’t think you can ever help someone unless they want you to.

Anyway … back to the point (will I ever stop ranting … no) that’s hat this poem is all about.

Please give comments and suggestions as to how it can be made better. It would be much appreciated.

Many thanks.
WAF

Comments


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:icontwistedblueyes:
~twistedblueyes Feb 15, 2006, 2:40:45 AM
the language is amazing and use of rhyming is great, i also love how the poem moves through different emotions like being lost..i kno isnt an emotion, sorta pain, then relief and well wishing... really bad comment here... but its a great poem

--
ahh the screams of a prom queen

so im depressed, so i listen to sad music, so im suicidal
...aint that the right of a teen these days??
:iconwithout-a-face:
~Without-A-Face Feb 15, 2006, 2:15:02 PM
there is no such thing as a bad comment

thankyou for your kind words. Glad you liked it

--
Officially your least favourite MYSPACE WHORE

Join the Parkour-addicts club
:iconwhisperwolf:
~whisperwolf Oct 27, 2005, 3:06:33 AM
Bloody hell! :faint: Your work really does just go from strength to strength.. which in all honesty I didn't think was possible coz I was already so impressed! I think perhaps one of the reasons I love this poem so much is not only because of the beautiful writing style, but also that I personally can really truly relate to it. I have often felt exactly like that, I know I'm selfish and think of myself and my problems so often and it's only when I try to help others' problems that I realise how my problems will fade and improve like theirs. It's exactly like you say.. a distraction. And I hadn't ever really thought about it like that but you are so very right.
So yes.. that's my thoughts on the meaning... and now the writing itself... well I can't even begin to explain how much emotion they bring out in me. It starts off making me feel drawn into your sorrow and depression as with each verse the load feels even heavier. I really do love this bit:
'Demands and orders
They plague the depth
Of a mind filled with hate
And a soul without breath'

Especially that last line there, it makes it feel like you're suffocating inside. And then the poem develops so subtley it's truly VERY beautiful. Like through the lines 'Tear soaked eyes, Find you in the crowd' and then moving the next verse on to explain how the other person is feeling and then how helping them can help you. Ooooh and must mention how I adore the metaphor of 'Like flesh to a knife'! I also love how it ends on how your realisation from helping the other person how it helped you.

I actually think you've written this sooooo well and I really can't see any way of improving it. I'm going to actually stop writing because my words don't do it justice just how much I adore this! If I could :+fav: this a hundred times I would! Unfortunately dA only lets me do it once!

--
Live your life without regret, don't be someone who they forget
:iconwithout-a-face:
~Without-A-Face Oct 28, 2005, 6:09:12 PM
OMG that is so nice. Your whole comment ... its just amazing.

Thankyou so much. I'm so glad you like it and many thousand thankyous for the :+fav: it means so much to me.

Thanks again.

--
Officially your least favourite MYSPACE WHORE

Join the Parkour-addicts club
:iconwhisperwolf:
~whisperwolf Oct 29, 2005, 3:51:40 AM
Awww you know you're very welcome and it was a favourite well deserved :hug:

--
Live your life without regret, don't be someone who they forget
:iconb-x0:
~B-x0 Oct 23, 2005, 5:33:53 PM
Very pretty<3Nice use of words.

--
- .Show.Me.The.Shadow.Where.True.Meaning.Lies.;So.Much.
[link]. -
:iconwithout-a-face:
~Without-A-Face Oct 23, 2005, 5:39:09 PM
Thankyou. Glad you like it

--
Officially your least favourite MYSPACE WHORE

Join the Parkour-addicts club
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